The school business leader can be a tricky beast to fathom. By turns brash, coy, approachable and searingly honest, the SBL in your life is likely to be as variable as the centre aisle in Lidl.
That’s because they have to juggle a huge variety of tasks, jobs, priorities and problems all day, every day. At the precise moment you’re interacting with them, they might have anywhere from 5 to 50 thoughts rushing round their heads, all requiring urgent attention.
It’s therefore understandable that the response you get from your SBL isn’t always quite what you’re expecting – or indeed, quite what they intend to say. For that reason, the SBL profession has developed a number of stock phrases for different occasions to buy them enough time to wriggle out of whatever it is you’ve asked them for. Here are some of the classics…
“Let me get back to you on that one”
Never in a million years. It ain’t happening, but let me think up some half decent reasons to turn you down and I’ll reply later. Once you’ve gone home.
“Well, that’s an interesting thought”
That is possibly the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard, but rather than a direct ‘no’, let’s give it 24 hours before I point out the glaringly obvious health and safety reason as to why it’s not possible – though I’ll wrap it up in a sigh and a shrug, so you don’t get discouraged. Bless you for trying.
“I’m afraid there’s nothing in the budget for that” (Pre 2017)
I may or may not have a secret stash of cash available, but unless you come bearing cupcakes I’m unlikely to ever admit it. If you’re still interested in whatever whim it is you want money for in eight months’ time, fill out this 32-page bidding form in triplicate and submit it countersigned by at least seven hobgoblins, and I’ll attempt to write it into next year’s budget.
“I’m afraid there’s nothing in the budget for that” (Post 2017)
I’m afraid there’s nothing in the budget for that. Or anything else. Ever.
“I’m just about to go into a meeting”
I really need a wee and you’re not very interesting.
“Let’s review it in a few months’ time”
Let’s agree to never speak of this embarrassing debacle ever again.
“We may need to realistic about expectations on this project”
That number you have in your head? Take all the zeros off the end. That’s your budget.
“Would you mind if we rescheduled for later this week?”
Someone more important than you just pitched up.
“Thank you for your patience”
I finally got to the bottom of my to-do list and you got lucky.
“Yep, have a good evening”
Yeah, off you go to your family and your life. Me? I’ll be here for another three hours actually, but you didn’t ask, did you? No, you were too busy racing out the door…
Hilary Goldsmith is director of finance at a secondary school in Brighton; for more information, visit sbl365.co.uk or follow @sbl365
